Cleaning out the closet

I am the only one who has a closet in their parents' house still filled with crap from growing up? Last week, Elias and I spent the week in Lafayette visiting with my parents while Dallas was in Seattle. I have thought many a trips to Lafayette that I MUST clean out my old closet. This is my old room, this isn't my house anymore, and my mom deserves another spot she can unload all of her crap. But every time I opened that door, I closed it real fast...ugh...the thought of going through endless boxes of junior high/high school memorabilia. I probably had about 20 boxes to go through. So, one day last week, I said "ef it", I'm cleaning it out.

After rummaging through the first box and deciding to keep only a handful of stuff, I quickly went downstairs and got 6 big black trash bags. There is something liberating in throwing lots of stuff away. I have ALWAYS been a pack rat until recently. I think it has to do with being in a really small apartment and having a baby. There are some things worth keeping for memories sake, but for the most part, it is all trash that I would eventually throw away anyway. Although, I am saving really weird random things for Elias. Like his first Mardi Gras beads and the bandaid off his first shot (er...nevermind, I did throw that away), and the cord that fell off his belly button (in a ziploc).

So here are some things that I finally threw away: high school dance corsages, our high schools "Ram Page" monthly newspapers (I looked in every one to see if, per chance, I was in any of them...sad to say, no), endless notes and letters from friends, pieces of flare I pinned on my jean jacket in junior high (Normal with a big X over it, "Girls Rule", a troll pin, and I "heart" NKOTB), spirit ribbons from high school football games, bags from Hard Rock Cafe (nothing in them, just the bags...don't ask me why), letters from an old boyfriend and my best friend from high school, little trinkets I kept from random trips, an inflatable palm tree, and much much more. Some funny things were cassette tapes of: Wayne Watson, Twila Paris, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, Salt-n-Pepa, and Amy Grant. I also found my backstage pass from the New Kids on the Block concert...oh yeah girls, I met them! I also found (and kept) a latch-hook of a Christmas tree I made (do ya'll remember those?) and a chia pet.

Anyway, it was really funny going through things that were so important to me at the time. Things that I kept were journals, calendars (in which I wrote detailed descriptions of my days), pictures, my senior jacket, trinkets from when I was a little girl (tea set, old lamp, CARRIE in mirror form), trophies from drama competitions, and wedding stuff (I did, however, finally throw away my bouquet). I felt so good after cleaning it out. I highly encourage you to go through old stuff. I also promised my mom I would take my 4 lonely boxes with us when we finally bought a house.

Waiting

This is something I have been thinking about lately. Do you ever find yourself waiting for the next thing in life? Or even the next TV show, the next time someone posts, the next time I can eat dairy...I think about, "I can't wait until Oprah", "I can't wait until this weekend", "I can't wait to watch Garden State (which I did and loved)", "I can't wait until Elias does _________", "I can't wait to have another baby"....and on and on and on. I feel like I am living a life waiting for the next thing, not really enjoying each day and the little things that make it exciting or even boring. I read a great section in "Simpler Living Compassionate Life". I will quote from page 38:

"In living mindfully, we pay attention to whatever we're doing and "suck out all the marrow". We become deeply absorbed in what we are doing, appreciating the people we are with, being conscious of the wind on our face. It means paying attention to what you are doing, and not doing ten things at once. Taking the time to notice, slowing down, sitting peacefully, and just being."

So since then I have only started doing the above and only sometimes but it is really awesome when it happens. Like yesterday when Elias ate a piece of cereal for the first time. Not a huge accomplishment for many, but our son hates lumps in his food. He gagged and threw up when I tried giving him a piece of avocado and banana. So I held the star-shaped banana-flavored cereal in my hand and he grasped it with his thumb and pointer finger (another huge baby milestone) and put it in his mouth, let it dissolve a little, the chewed and swallowed! No gagging or hurling...I tried again and he proceeded to eat 6!

Or the other day when I stopped long enough to watch the palm on our balcony swaying in the wind and looked down and saw its shadow dancing on the ground. Or Sunday morning when I was walking to 24 Hour Fitness (YES, I joined a health club) and it was lightly raining and I felt how soft the mist was on my face.

But this morning I thought again how "I couldn't wait to meet friends tomorrow night for dinner" and "I can't wait to go to Lafayette to see my family this weekend". But, at least I am aware sometimes of the little things that make life great. I will have to re-read this post often.